My friend and co-author jazz pianist Kevin Bales tells a story about someone complimenting him on a night when he didn’t think he’d played well. She said something to the effect of, “You sounded great tonight,” and he replied something like, “No, I didn’t I did not play well tonight.”
The look on her face told him that his response, though it might have been honest, was not in good grace. In essence, he realized he was telling her she was wrong, or worse that she didn’t understand the difference between good and bad. That was the lesson: A more graceful way to handle compliments is to be humble but accepting.
Most times after a gig, I have some moments that I thought went well and others that I didn’t think I played or sang very well. I might have misplayed chords on the piano, or my voice might have failed me, a scratchy or slightly off-key high note. I have more often than I care to remember gotten lost in the middle of comping a song behind a soloist and had to lay out for a couple of bars. Then come people after a set telling me how good we sounded, me included. Truth is they’re not likely to notice a note slightly off key or even a few measures in the middle of a solo with the piano missing.
So the life lesson and rule of the moment: Thank people who come to hear you play for making the effort to deliver their compliments and accept them with grace.